The Childless Mother
“Look at your horseback-riding hips, you were made for this!”
Read MoreThe Goys in the South
Cornell University was a fancy place, and, with my baggy basketball shorts and lack of spending money, it made me feel like trash.
Read MoreThong Song Days
Jessica and I faced each other on the dance floor, each with a horny boy attached like a parasite to the butt, grinding away to the thump of “Thong Song.”
Read MoreMy Big Break
In my mind, I was the Jamaican bobsled team.
Read MoreTeenie Beanie Shame
Nowadays it’s pretty common to bring cloth bags to the grocery store. In fact, at some fancy stores like Whole Foods you’ll get the stink eye if you don’t bring your own bags. But I grew up in the 90’s in Buffalo, NY where this was not the case. My dad was an environmental engineer and wanted us to avoid waste and extra packaging so he’d insist we’d bring cloth bags to our grocery store. When we got there, the checkout workers would just be confused and look at us like we were crazy, “but we have bags! We have paper and plastic!”
As a twelve-year-old I found this humiliating.
Read MoreThe Forty-Foot Sword
It was so horribly gross. I couldn’t read this aloud to my Dad.
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